[Une Petite Revue] Butter by Erin Jade Lange (ARC)

Butter by Erin Jade Lange
Bloomsbury Children, 316 Pages
US Release Date: September 4, 2012
Format: eARC
Source: Publisher, via NetGalley (thank you!)

A lonely obese boy everyone calls "Butter" is about to make history. He is going to eat himself to death-live on the Internet-and everyone is invited to watch. When he first makes the announcement online to his classmates, Butter expects pity, insults, and possibly sheer indifference. What he gets are morbid cheerleaders rallying around his deadly plan. Yet as their dark encouragement grows, it begins to feel a lot like popularity. And that feels good. But what happens when Butter reaches his suicide deadline? Can he live with the fallout if he doesn't go through with his plans? With a deft hand, E.J. Lange allows readers to identify with both the bullies and the bullied in this all-consuming look at one teen's battle with himself.
-----------------Goodreads summary

The Goods

Surprisingly emotional. You come to care for Butter and what he's going through.

Love the saxophone element.

The family. They're not perfect, but...there's one scene with the dad that got me.

The Bads

Minorly predictable? I mean...well, no spoilers. But it is. In a way.

Sometimes Butter was just that bitter fat kid, and pretty unlikeable.

The Consensus

A compelling read about so much more than being the fat kid; it's about friendship, and learning to love not only yourself but those around you in any capacity.

The Recommendation

For anyone who feels outside the normal.

4 Stars / 5

Review: Pushing the Limits by Katie McGarry (eARC)

Pushing the Limits by Katie McGarry
Harlequin Teen, 409 Pages
US Release Date: July 24, 2012
Format: eARC
Source: Publisher, via NetGalley (thank you!)

SO WRONG FOR EACH OTHER...AND YET SO RIGHT.

No one knows what happened the night Echo Emerson went from popular girl with jock boyfriend to gossiped-about outsider with “freaky” scars on her arms. Even Echo can’t remember the whole truth of that horrible night. All she knows is that she wants everything to go back to normal.

But when Noah Hutchins, the smoking hot, girl-using loner in the black leather jacket, explodes into her life with his tough attitude and surprising understanding, Echo’s world shifts in ways she could never have imagined. They should have nothing in common. And with the secrets they both keep, being together is pretty much impossible.

Yet the crazy attraction between them refuses to go away. And Echo has to ask herself just how far they can push the limits and what she’ll risk for the one guy who might teach her how to love again.
-----------------Goodreads summary

Notable Quote

Shit, what if she did trust me? What would I do with it?

I went into this novel with a lot of expectations - I heard nothing but great things about it from other bloggers, read absolutely raving reviews, and when I was at ALA this was a book everyone was speaking of. High expectations, lots of potential to be let down.

But I wasn't. Oh, I absolutely was NOT.

I don't know if I'm as stark raving mad about it as a few other reviewers, but I can tell you that everything you've heard is absolutely true. This story is gripping and gut wrenching and just rips your heart to shreds at the same time as filling it to the brim. There's emotion dripping off each page, angst and real heart in every word. This is a story worthy of the heartsickness it will cause.

First and foremost, we have to discuss Noah. Oh, Noah. If ever the prototype bad boy to fall for, it's him. And while I totally get all the swoonage for him, he just didn't do it for me - but that's entirely a personal thing. I think my bad boy will always be the Will from Infernal Devices; he's snarky and rebellious for half-pompous and half-noble reasons. Noah's a bad boy because he actually does bad shit. And even if most of it comes from a good place or with good intentions, it's still bad. Regardless, I found myself falling in love with him, too. He's so hard and vulnerable at the same time, so filled with love and anger that he's this passionate guy with aggression as the only way to express it. Something I loved with him is that I never doubted his capacity to love Echo. In some bad boy characters, they're just so hard-hearted and cruel that I think the love story is forced - but not with Noah. His fists fly, but his heart is huge, too, and there's no way to resist that.

Echo was a little harder for me to love, but I can't quite pinpoint why. I think I just wanted to shake her and tell her to man the hell up. She was a little too weak for my tastes. And while I can get why, her progression just wasn't fast enough for me to love. Still, her character is great, and everything she's endured makes how tentative she is easily understood. I'm probably being quite cavalier saying she should be stronger, actually, because the crap she's gone through with her mom, and not being able to remember it...well, I'd probably be crumbling in a corner. And that she's just lost her brother in Iraq on top of that all? I couldn't survive that.

There were a lot of elements of this story that surprised me. All I'd ever heard was the smokin' hot boy and their smoldering romance - and yeah, that's definitely what I focus on. But there are smaller details that I truly loved, too. Like why Echo is named that, and her brother being named Aires. Or the friendships - or lack thereof, when it comes to that heinous bitch Grace. I hated her. But the friends that did stick by Echo in the aftermath, and Noah's friends...those are friendships worth fighting for. Or Aires, who was an element I was completely taken aback by - we know my military hangups, and it made it that much harder to read because there was one specific scene that just...killed me. I literally dropped my iPad and started sobbing because it is a thought that haunts me.

But what I did love was how real the hurt was throughout this book. It's tough to see some of these things written, even though I've never experienced anything like what Echo or Noah have gone or go through. It's a lot of those inner fears and thoughts we can't admit to having, because we're afraid that will make them true. While it made it difficult to get through, it also made it impossible to put down.

My favourite character? Mrs. Collins, the counselor. Hands down. She was batshit crazy (driving, especially - loved all those moments in the car with Noah!), but she was a good woman, and I loved her belief in Noah and Echo. In a book where all the adult characters probably deserve a good room in hell, she was a breathe of fresh air with a side of funny, too.

One question. Why did the horrible babysitter-turned-stepmom have to be named Ashley?! I mean, really.

4.5 Stars / 5

Review: Personal Effects by EM Kokie (ARC)

Personal Effects by EM Kokie
Candlewick Press, 352 pages
Expected US Release Date: September 11, 2012
Format: ARC
Source: DAC Arc Tours (thank you!)
Challenge: Debut Author Challenge

After his older brother dies in Iraq, Matt makes a discovery that rocks his beliefs about strength, bravery, and honor in this page-turning debut.

Ever since his brother, T.J., was killed in Iraq, Matt feels like he’s been sleepwalking through life — failing classes, getting into fights, and avoiding his dad’s lectures about following in his brother’s footsteps. T.J.’s gone, but Matt can’t shake the feeling that if only he could get his hands on his brother’s stuff from Iraq, he’d be able to make sense of his death. But as Matt searches for answers about T.J.’s death, he faces a shocking revelation about T.J.’s life that suggests he may not have known T.J. as well as he thought. What he learns challenges him to stand up to his father, honor his brother’s memory, and take charge of his own life. With compassion, humor, and a compelling narrative voice, E. M. Kokie explores grief, social mores, and self-discovery in a provocative first novel.
---------------------Goodreads summary

Notable Quote

...maybe he was trying to figure out if he could tell me, or if he should tell me, or how. Maybe he was already getting ready to leave for good, leave me behind, and didn't know how to tell me that. Whatever it was, I didn't ask because I figured, ultimately, whatever was in his head was about death.

It never occurred to me it could be about life.

If you've read my review of Something Like Normal by Trish Doller, you know how personal military issues are to me. I'm not going to retype everything (if you want to know, it's the first paragraph in the link there!), but I'll shorten it: I have lost someone to the war, I have watched loved ones come and go from it, I have watched friend's endure the losing, worrying and return of soldiers, and I currently have 3 friends serving in Afghanistan. It is impossible for me to approach books that focus on the military impartially, and I will not apologize for that. They are real to me, and these are real stories. I know people with these stories, and it would dishonor them to keep them separate.

That said, something I love about military-centric books are how absolutely different they can be. There are so many facets to war and the military; who experiences, how one experiences it, who we all know experiencing it. I am grateful to say that most of Personal Effects is an area of the military life I don't know - and I know that sounds mean, but I promise it is not.

Matt Foster's dad is the embodiment of all things I hate about gung-ho military men. The meathead ones, the cruel ones, the ones who abuse their kid and bully them into thinking military = only option, military = the Right Way of life, military = manliness. The ones who think toting a gun makes you worthy, the ones who think the trenches are the only way to become someone, and that any man who doesn't have that goal is dishonorable and a "fairy." Any person can go ahead and think that - it's not my place to tell you your thoughts and opinions are wrong - but the ones who hit their kid and drill it into them with verbal jabs and demeaning slurs? I reject them. They are not men. They are less than men, and human in only the literal sense.

I think having such a strong reaction to Matt's dad helped me get through this book - instead of getting immediately sad and filled with the drowning sense of loss I normally do, I was filled with anger and indignation and was able to read on. This is a nod to EM Kokie's writing, in the only way I know how: I hate this type of man, but I wanted nothing more than to read on about him and what he does to Matt and their lives. Her characterization of him is amazing and real, and he is easily the dozens of guys and girls I know who are like him. Even after finishing the book, I hate him; but I appreciate his character.

Since I'm already on characters, I'll tackle that first. You immediately feel for Matt, and even though I don't endorse fighting, I do like his evolution. Sometimes I wish he'd grow a pair, but I understand his personality so well; and truthfully, if he ever stopped being so internal and closed off, it just wouldn't fit him. There is a depth to Matt that took me by surprise, and happily so. TJ is the driving force to the novel, and even though he's rarely here in the story, I do love who we come to know. He's a great big brother to Matt, and my admiration and sadness of his situation only increased the more I read. Shauna is the only one I thought to be a little one-dimensional, but her function as a friend and girl is fantastic and I love her for what she is to Matt. 

So, let's get on with the important thing: the story. Guys, this story broke my heart and left my gut twisted and wrenched in every which way. I want to cry for Matt for the first half of the book, and I actually did for him and everyone involved at the end of the book. I can't spoil it - it would be shameful to wreck what you will come to know and be so invested in - but trust me when I say that this is a story worth reading. That it needs to be read. That this is someone's story, a lot of someone's stories, and the world would be a better place if people took this book, devoured it as I did and found what is there: grief, acceptance, and dealing with the parts of life we have to hide because someone has belittled it. The parts we have to hide because people don't accept it. The parts that we have to hide because maybe you could die for it.

I can't actually talk about the last half of the book, because I fear what I will inadvertently spoil - just know that it's a fairly big surprise. I started to suspect as we get to read some of the letters from TJ's personal effects, but I was never certain. Going through the journey with Matt, trying to understand TJ's life and his death...it's so emotional and real and absolutely special. When you finally learn the truth of things...oh god. I can't even. I was floored and swept away and absolutely riveted to what was going on and how Matt would react. And there is literally one line, that is seven words long, that absolutely broke my heart and opened the floodgates.

Here's the thing: yes, this book is about a military family. Yes, someone is killed in war. Yes, the entire book revolves around TJ's personal effects and what they reveal. And yes, that's pretty much the focus of my entire review. But really? It's not about the military. This is so much more than that: it's about who we are to some people, and who we are to others. It's about our true selves. It is about learning who you are, learning who you can be, learning that some limitations don't have to be your boundary. It's about understanding the truth of love, and just how much that can get a person through. And mostly, it's about perceptions: yours, someone else's, and the flexibility of all of them.

4.5 Stars

Review: One Moment by Kristina McBride (eARC)

One Moment by Kristina McBride
Egmont USA, 272 Pages
US Release Date: June 26, 2012
Format: eARC
Source: Publisher, via NetGalley (thank you!)

This was supposed to be the best summer of Maggie's life. Now it's the one she'd do anything to forget.

Maggie remembers hanging out at the gorge with her closest friends after a blowout party. She remembers climbing the trail with her perfect boyfriend, Joey. She remembers that last kiss, soft, lingering, and meant to reassure her. So why can't she remember what happened in the moment before they were supposed to dive? Why was she left cowering at the top of the cliff, while Joey floated in the water below-dead?
As Maggie's memories return in snatches, nothing seems to make sense. Why was Joey acting so strangely at the party? Where did he go after taking her home? And if Joey was keeping these secrets, what else was he hiding?
--------------------Goodreads summary

Notable quote

There was so much that I suddenly needed to uncover, no matter the cost. Because learning all the things I didn't already know, finding a few more slices of life when Joey was with us, even if it only helped for a little while, was the only way I could cheat my way out of his death.

Once upon a time, a girl was getting ready for bed around 3am. She saw her iPad on her nightstand, knew there was a book on it that she wanted to read and thought to herself, “Well, I don’t have anything to do tomorrow, I’ll stay up to read just one or two chapters. It’ll be fine.” So this girl did…chapter one flew by. And chapter two. And three, and four, and five…and suddenly, it was 6am and she flipped the last page feeling all sorts of sadness and tragedy and anger and mixed emotions.

I am STILL trying to get back on a regular sleep schedule, FYI.

One Moment seems to be about the tragic loss of Maggie’s boyfriend, the result of a terrible accident on the cliffs, and the known secrets of their relationship. And of course, it is – but I think it’s more about friendship. How friendship can exist, how it functions…and a much darker side. How friendship can actually bind a person, how it can become a limitation or an obligation. How ultimately, a friendship can lead to deception or tragedy.

I know that paints a bleak picture, but One Moment had a depth that took me completely by surprise. I knew it would be sad – it’s about the death of a girl’s boyfriend! – but I had no idea the extent of it. The unraveling and the twists and secrets.

I’m really sad I lost my notes while reading when it was archived before I could email them – there are some pretty good gems there, in my opinion. Usually “OMG I HATE HER” and “OMG I HATE HIM” and “WHAT.” You get the idea. 

While the story itself isn’t the most original, and a lot of the plot twists were kind of expected or at least not outside the bounds of consideration, I admit that there were enough twists or unexpected moments that were SO good, I barely even minded. I don’t know if it was the late night, or the ability of the story to just consume you entirely, but I was absolutely riveted to the pages. I had to know, and I had to know NOW.

Let’s talk characters. This book revolves around the tight friendship of 6 people – and at first I was weary of that. That’s a lot of personalities, thoughts, and emotions to handle – but it was never a problem for me. It’s very clear who we are with at the time and who feels what. Of course it was mainly about Maggie, Adam, Shannon and Joey; the remaining two were focused on very little – but that’s fine. They didn’t necessarily have to be. Adam was far and ahead my favourite character – not only do I kind of love him for what he is and does (distancing tendencies and all!), but I felt like he was done so, so well in the book. He’s given to you, and even though you immediately feel like you know him and can love him, he’s slowly revealed and peeled back in his own way. We gradually get inside his head and his actions, and I fell for him hard. Maggie, on the other hand, was frustrating. Her character is supposed to be, I think, but there are some moments where I just wanted to tell her to get there quicker. To stop being so naïve. To UNDERSTAND. Sometimes, it was just so obvious and I hated that it dragged out.

And even though I actually hated Joey, I admit that he’s done really well. The reader never questions Maggie and Joey’s relationship, we even understand how it’s perfect and think it is, too! And then shit goes down. And shit happens and shit is revealed, and more shit is tossed in just to mess it all up. And even though there’s all this messy shit going on, I still kind of liked Joey. Inexplicably, and I think most probably won’t. But how he’s written…it works and it makes sense for me, even though he’s completely shit-tastic.

(How many times can I curse in one paragraph? I know.)

One Moment was a riveting read for me, even though some of the characters are questionable and a lot of it is predictable. Somehow, the effect as you read is completely consuming, and the only solution is to just read on. I would have given it 5 stars, but here’s the thing (no spoilers, I promise): the ending is exactly as I knew it should be. And even though I enjoyed how we got there immensely (it could have wrapped up about 30 pages earlier, in my opinion), it wrapped so neatly into the way I thought it should from the beginning that it felt very underwhelming. Despite being twisted, torn and tugged through an emotional mess.

4.5 Stars / 5

[Blog Tour] Review + GIVEAWAY: The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker

The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker
Random House, 288 Pages
US Release Date: June 26, 2012
Format: ARC
Source: Publisher, via TLC Book Tours (thank you Random House and TLC!)

“It still amazes me how little we really knew. . . . Maybe everything that happened to me and my family had nothing at all to do with the slowing. It’s possible, I guess. But I doubt it. I doubt it very much.”

Luminous, haunting, unforgettable, The Age of Miracles is a stunning fiction debut by a superb new writer, a story about coming of age during extraordinary times, about people going on with their lives in an era of profound uncertainty.

On a seemingly ordinary Saturday in a California suburb, 11-year-old Julia and her family awake to discover, along with the rest of the world, that the rotation of the earth has suddenly begun to slow. The days and nights grow longer and longer, gravity is affected, the environment is thrown into disarray. Yet as she struggles to navigate an ever-shifting landscape, Julia is also coping with the normal disasters of everyday life—the fissures in her parents’ marriage, the loss of old friends, the hopeful anguish of first love, the bizarre behavior of her grandfather who, convinced of a government conspiracy, spends his days obsessively cataloging his possessions. As Julia adjusts to the new normal, the slowing inexorably continues.

With spare, graceful prose and the emotional wisdom of a born storyteller, Karen Thompson Walker has created a singular narrator in Julia, a resilient and insightful young girl, and a moving portrait of family life set against the backdrop of an utterly altered world.
-----------------------------Goodreads summary

Notable Quote

There was no footage to show on television, no burning buildings or broken bridges, no twisted metal or scorched earth, no houses sliding off slabs. No one was wounded. No one was dead. It was, at the beginning, a quite invisible catastrophe.

One of the reasons I wanted to read this novel is because I saw Curtis Sittenfeld had blurbed it – and though I don’t mention her often on this blog, Curtis Sittenfeld is an insta-read author for me. There’s something so engaging and powerful about her novels, and I read them as fast as they release. (Which, can we please have a new one soon? Pretty please?)

I feel like The Age of Miracles is very reminiscent of a Curtis Sittenfeld novel, in the best way possible. There’s something similar in their writing, in that quiet, understated detail that individually seems to be simple, but together makes the most powerful picture. This isn’t the most action packed novel, not by a longshot – but there’s never a second I feel like it’s boring. There’s always something there right behind the words, always something happening just past the words we’re reading.

When I chose the book to review, I was a little confused as to if it was a YA novel, or adult fiction – and then I found out the narrator is a 12-year-old girl and was even more confused. Truthfully, I never really found out (I think it is classified as fiction), but that’s part of its structure: it appeases so many qualifications of each genre. It’s a bit Dystopian and Sci-Fi, with this not quite futuristic novel but still a different world than our own; it’s a bit contemporary, with the relationships and learning what love means; it’s a bit coming-of-age.

I’m going to say something, and it might lead you astray but let me explain: this book terrified me. It’s not a scary, thriller novel; but the imagination and detail to the world made it feel so real. And the scariest part is that I really feel like this could happen. Who can say that the world isn’t already slowing? How many times do we glance up at a clock and swear that the day lasts a bit longer? Just the other day I was astonished that it was already 8:30pm and still a bit light out. Karen Thompson Walker has built the brilliant situation that seems just out of reach, not quite inevitable but definitely possible. And that scares me shitless.

I was so impressed with how thoughtful the novel was, too. Every scenario was taken into consideration, and I felt that I was really following the fate of this planet as I read. And though I’m definitely not a scientist, the physics and scientific explanations that happen throughout seem absolutely real. I know a bit about earth’s rotation and how these seasons affect everything on a grander scale, and The Age of Miracles really felt like it was non-fiction in it’s reasonings.

Even though I feel like this novel is mostly a plot- and world-driven novel, that doesn’t mean the characters were any less than fantastic. Juliet, the main character, is an 11-year-old girl having to go through the stress of middle school in this entirely unprecedented and changing world. If we thought we had it bad wondering about training bras and how that boy suddenly smells good, imagine if you had to figure that while the world also seems to be ending! Juliet is quiet and worrisome, and she stole my heart with her sympathy, seriousness and innocence. Each secondary character was also done quite well, with features about them that I equally loved and hated. It was a really great balance of personalities with everyone; just one more way I feel like this entire story was a reality.

The Age of Miracles is both unlike anything I’ve ever read before and entirely like the best parts of my favourite authors’ writing. The story is unique and original in the best way possible, creating a world that feels familiar but is so unlike our own. There’s a soft wisdom in all of Karen Walker’s words, making a beautiful, compelling story. I highly recommend this book.

4.5 Stars / 5

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Karen Thompson Walker is a graduate of UCLA and the Columbia MFA program and is the recipient of the 2011 Sirenland Fellowship as well as a Bomb magazine fiction prize. A former editor at Simon & Schuster, she wrote The Age of Miracles in the mornings before work. Born and raised in San Diego, she now lives in Brooklyn with her husband. The Age of Miracles is her first book.

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(bio taken from the ARC author bio page)